[He won't bolt. Even if he wanted to, there's nowhere for him to really go at this point.]

I was...I thought if I took that piece of shit Fav up on his offer, I could do that.

[Which doesn't make sense, so he'll explain.]

I thought if I got rid of someone in our group that was unstable, it might make things better for the rest of us. It wasn't supposed to be her. Or you. And...

[He frowns.]

There's this girl back home I'm supposed to be protecting. Some really bad shit's come after her. Really bad. I'm not going to say it makes this look like nothing, but I'd rather go through a hundred weeks of this shit than tangle with some of that again.

[The frown deepens, if that's possible.]

I've already died once trying to keep her safe. I thought...no, I knew I wasn't the type of guy to get through something like this, so I thought even if the wish was bullshit, it's...something. That way, she might have something when I don't make it back.

[He just sighs, this is all stuff he hasn't really told anyone.]

I know that's not an excuse for what happened, but...

[He managed to actually get a bunch of words out, but then it just kind of came to a screeching halt.]